


Find A Way to You

by Misstrickster



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, trigger warning: suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-17
Updated: 2012-10-19
Packaged: 2017-11-16 11:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/539100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misstrickster/pseuds/Misstrickster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Dean's journey back to each other after Dean is banished to purgatory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It has been two years since I wrote this and I have edited and tweaked it because it's 6:37am and I haven't slept.

Jody dragged Sam out of the bar. "Will you stop fighting me off, you are being an idiot Sam" 

Sam growled and pushed Jody away. “Fine, Jody, I am idiot, what does it matter, I have lost the only person I have loved, I can drink and be an idiot all I want." 

Jody frowned at Sam. "That is not what Dean would want." 

Sam yelled, "What about what I want!" 

Sam looked at the ground sadly, "Why do I have to lose everyone I love?" 

Jody looked at him sadly. "Hey you haven't lost me and I love you" Jody smiled softly at him. 

Sam looked up and put on a fake smile for the one person who is still here for him. "Thanks Jody, I guess I should go home and go to sleep then." 

Jody nodded in understanding "I'll drive ya." 

Sam agreed and got into her car and they made their way back to Sam's current abode. 

==================================================

When the car stopped, Sam all but rushed out of the cruiser. 

Jody frowned but chose not to follow him. 

Instead she rolled down her window and shouted after him. "Keep in touch, I don't want anything happening to you." 

Sam faked a big smile 

"I will!" He fibbed. 

Sam turned away from the receding car and unlocked the hotel room. 

It was nothing special but it still reminded him of Dean and all the hotel they have   
visited. 

Sam slowly ventured deeper into the hotel, softly shutting the door behind him, 

He didn't bother to lock the door. Instead Sam picked up Dean's discarded jacket. 

It was still thrown haphazardly on the chair by Dean before they left for dinner. 

He recalls the words spoken. Commenting on the beautiful night and not needing the jacket. 

Sam clutched the pillow close and laid down on the bed hoping to have a dreamless sleep. 

"I will see you soon, Dean." Sam whispered and drifted off.   
__________________________________________________________   
Jody sighed and checked her phone for any missing calls. She frowned and dialed the same number she has dialed countless times. 

Jody was answered with the voicemail message. "Hey this is Sam, you know what to do. 

"Hey Sam, It's Jody I haven't heard from you in a while." She stated. "I know you're a capable man but I'm going to stop by anyways." 

Jody unlocked her cruiser and climbed in. "I will be by in about an hour so if you need to make yourself presentable; see you soon."   
==================================================  
Jody slowly pulled up to the hotel room. 

Parking the cruiser she climbed out and walked up, knocking on the door. "Sam, it's Jody open up." 

Jody checked the window but only saw the shades. 

Huffing in frustration; Jody knocked again. 

She still received no answer. Jody reeled back and unclipped her. With a swift kick, the door was broken into. 

The apartment was dark and eerily quiet. Jody raised and cocked her gun, searching for any movement. 

Jody slowly lowered her gun. "Sam?" 

Jody's eyes fell on the bed and the still form of the younger Winchester. 

Jody sighed slightly but as her eyes searched the body her fear returned ten fold. 

Slowly creeping over to the side of the bed Sam was facing and switched on the lamp. 

Jody gasped, covering her mouth in horror. Sam laid still, appeared as though he was sleeping except for the pool of blood under his head and the hole in the side of it. 

"Oh Sam..." Jody searched around for a sign of struggle or forced entry and her eyes fell on crumpled note on the bedside table. 

Jody slowly crept over to table and picked up the note to read the final thoughts of the lost man. 

Jody- 

 

I know you are not thinking the best of me right now but this is was the only way it could turn out. I mean, how do you live when the only person who has always been there is finally gone for good. I didn't have a psychic this time so I had to die the old fashion way, by dying and staying dead. Thank you for all you have done, I will never forget you but I can't keep living knowing Dean is gone. I love you 

 

-Sam 

 

Jody choked down a sob and turned back to the door. Pulling out her radio she put on a brave face and called for the body to be taken away.


	2. Surrounded but Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam goes to heaven and can't find the person he wanted most.

 Sam felt someone shake his arm softly. "Sam, honey, wake up." Sam's eyes drifted open slowly. Mary smiled down at her little boy. "Hey sleepyhead, we thought you'd never open your eyes." Sam sat up and looked around wildly. "Mom, Dad?" Sam said in disbelief. John and Mary nodded the smiles never leaving their face. "Where am I, the last thing I remember is talking to my friend Jody and then I had the gun." Sam paused and looked up in surprise. "Am I in heaven?" Mary hugged her son tightly. "Where else would you be?" Sam looked around waiting for the dream to fade. "I can't be here; I am a monster and Lucifer's true vessel."

 John bent down to Sam's level. "No monster would save the people who scorn him, son you are a hero and this is where heroes belong." Sam smiled sadly. "I am no hero." Mary frowns. "You gave everything for god's children, that makes you a hero whether you agree or not young man." Sam smiled, "Thanks Mom." Mary hugged her youngest son; John wrapped his arms around both of them. "Welcome home, Sam." John and Mary pulled back, helping Sam up. "Let's go home; there are a lot of people who are going to be happy to see you." Sam smiled thinking of all the friends he lost, as his mind roamed his thoughts fell on the only reason he was home now.

 "Where is Dean?" Sam questioned, “I thought he'd be right here with you to greet me." Mary and John looked at Sam confused. “Sam, Dean is not dead." Sam stopped dead in his tracks. "What do you mean, when we stopped the Leviathans and killed Dick he must have died in the backlash, how could he not be here?" Sam began to shake. "If he is not here, where is he, where is my brother!" John grabbed his son, shaking him slightly. "Sam calm down." Sam shook his head, tears falling from his eyes, "I need to find Dean; I promised myself I would never leave him." Mary hugged her son. "Sam it's too late, you are dead now, and Jody burned your body when she found it, you can't go back."

 Sam looked at her sadly. "I can't leave Dean alone; I have already done that too many times." Mary looked at him sadly, "I'm sorry Sam but there is no way back to Dean now, he has to find his own way home." Sam fell to the ground. All the pain he had gone through in his death, all the people he must have hurt with his death was in vain because in the end he hadn't found Dean like he thought he would. Sam's head fell into his hands and he began crying. Mary bent down and held her little boy tight as he cried for his failed mission and his lost brother.


	3. Will Keep Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam waits

Mary looked out the house window at her youngest son. Sam hadn’t left the spot where he’d landed in their heaven.

“I’m worried, John.” Mary turned to her husband. “He hasn’t left that spot since we found him” John smiled reassuringly at his wife. “He lost his best friend, give him time.” Mary starred at husband, incredulous. “I’ve given him time; he has been out there for too long.” She turned to the door. “This needs to stop.”

 Mary opened the door and walked out to where Sam sat, bending down when she reached her son. “Sam, honey, come inside.” She grabbed his hand. “Dean isn’t going to be coming for a long time; you are going to exhaust yourself waiting for him.” Sam starred ahead. “I can’t leave mom, I need to be here when Dean comes.” Sam smiled sadly. “I will wait out here forever if it means he knows that I never forgot him.” Mary frowned in confusion. “He would never think that.” Sam looked up at his mother. “He thought that when I went to Stanford.”

He turned back. “He is my best friend, I need him to know I never stopped caring and the only reason I left was to find him. Mary opened her mouth to say something but stopped. She knew exactly what Sam was talking about. She never wanted John to think she forgot either. Mary smiled and squeezed Sam’s hand. “I will bring you a sandwich and a blanket.” Sam looked back at Mary and smiled. “Thanks mom.”


End file.
